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Kids Suck

A place to rant about the runts you meet every day.

Posting Access:
All Members , Moderated
I know that while many people who stumble across this community will agree with its premise, just as many may be offended. This is an open community, so anybody can join, but before any of you join on just to spam us with "how can you hate kids you're bad you're selfish blah blah blah blah blah," let me explain just what this community is all about.

It's true, I don't like kids. This applies to just about anybody from birth till about age 13. I don't like many teenagers either, but that's a different issue.

I don't like babies. I don't understand why anyone would want to have a baby in the first place. I know accidents will happen, but the people who choose this really confuse me. How does one arrive at the conclusion that having a baby would be a good idea? "Gee, I don't feel like sleeping, going out, or having sex for the next couple of years. I think I'll have a litter." I mean, I like wiping the ass of a shriveled, tiny invalid who can only communicate by screaming and throwing things just as much as the next guy, but whenever I get the urge to do so, I just visit the local nursing home. That way I can go home at the end of the day and actually sleep through the night. A baby is a burden, an endless drain on patience and pocketbook alike. Why anyone would intentionally squirt one out is beyond me.

But they're not just burdens to the parents. They do a pretty damn good job of ruining things for everyone else, too. I can't remember the last time I was able to go into a restaurant and enjoy my meal in peace without some little runt screaming its head off loud enough to be heard from down the street. It's even worse if you're unlucky enough to be situated so that you have to watch them eat. Seeing some little bald offspring drool strained and slobber-stained carrots all over itself is enough to ruin any appetite. I don't smoke, but I'm forced to sit in the smoking section since there are usually no kids around. I'd rather breathe in someone else's smoke than listen to someone else's kid and smell the shit in its diapers. When it comes to movies, I only attend the late-night showings of horribly violent R-rated horror movies. Why? Because any other show is going to be ruined by the endless, endless screaming of some baby.

Toddlers and small children are no better. Sure, they cry a little bit less and can maintain some semblance of control over their basic bodily functions, but they make up for these good qualities by being able to move around on their own, usually running wildly and screaming their high, ear-piercing screams. Even libraries aren't safe anymore. And God forbid you get stuck behind one or more in the grocery store checkout lane, while they whine and tantrum for some candy or whatever the hell they want. And nobody wants to say anything about it. Nobody wants to take steps to stop the assault on their ears coming from this spoiled little worm because they're either afraid of invoking the wrath of the parent or plagued by some mental illness that makes them think the thing's antics are "cute." I swear, sometimes it seems like people love it so much and are so hell-bent on preserving a kid's right to scream obnoxiously that I'm surprised they don't play the sound over the store's P.A. system.

Show no mercy to these little goblins. If a baby is crying in a restaurant, tell the parents to shut the thing up or get the hell out. If a kid is throwing a shit-fit for a toy or candy bar, give it something to really cry about. If some squealing runt insists on splashing you in the pool, don't be afraid to complain to a lifeguard and embarrass the parents. Fuck politeness. If a kid's being rude, be rude right back.

Society should cater to those who contribute to it, not a little kid who ruins it for everyone.

This community is a place for members to vent their frustrations at the brats they encounter every day. And I list sex, sleep, and social life as interests of this community because those are the three biggest things you lose when you have a kid.